I remember my previous birthdays and how much fun and friends were surrounding me, I tried my best to run away from my past but I didn't expect that I would miss my days in Egypt.
For sake of God, how my life turns from bad to worse in a constant sequence. Firstly my traumatic childhood then my shitty teenage period, and my twenties when I could summarize by the name of wrong descions.
I had a lot of fun, joy, travels, hope, and good friends but yet all I feel now is being isolated again. I moved many times throughout my life and I wasn't able to keep a friend because of the distances. I did my best but at certain points, I had to let them go because we can't carry on.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, they said that but I can add to it, stronger but dead inside and completely scared of everything. it withdrawal the joy of life out of you. Yet stronger or in other words emotionless.
The feeling of guilt and self-blaming ruin every step. Even the steps became harder .it looks like I am trapped here forever, away from everything I love or pay its price. I wish all of that to end up and really breathe for once without fear of being guilty.
Happy Birthday to myself.
ليست هناك تعليقات:
إرسال تعليق